Having grown quite disenchanted and frustrated with the
disorder, disorganization, and dirtiness of Cameroon, and ready to begin
celebrating the end of research presentations, five of us decided to head to
the Hilton – the fanciest hotel in Cameroon, located in the very center of
Yaoundé next to all of the government buildings – for happy hour. We had heard
from Peace Corps Volunteers that happy hour at the Hilton was a thing to do,
and so after sitting in a classroom for two days listening to thirteen
half-hour long presentations on the research we all completed over the past
month, it was time to celebrate.
We found a cab from Bastos to the Hilton – paying 40¢/person
– and a half hour later, we stepped out in front of the sumptuous hotel. Black
market moneychangers were immediately upon us, demanding to change our money. I
turned around to them as we headed towards the entrance and told them that we
live here. But AT had West African Francs which she had brought with here
hoping to change, and had been unable to throughout the entire three and a half
months. So she changed the francs, and we headed up to the U-shaped driveway,
up marble steps, underneath a Christmas-themed arbor, and through sliding glass
doors into a marble-floored, climate-controlled, extremely clean, and quiet
lobby. Those four adjectives are anathema to everything that Cameroon is.
Needless to say it was a shock stepping through those doors, and we all had the
strange feeling that we were back in the West.
I asked a security guard which floor the bar was on – we
knew that it was at the top of the hotel, and he instructed us to go to the 11th
floor. We got into the first elevator we have been in since arriving in
Cameroon. The elevator, like many, was plated with mirrors. This was the
largest concentration of mirrors any of us had seen since arriving. We stared
at our reflections, commenting on the weight gained from our highly elevated
palm and cotton oil consumption. Arriving on the 11th floor, we got
out, awed by the very clean wall-to-wall carpeting and the windows which
allowed us to look out over the entire city.
We sat down in armchairs surrounding a low table and within
minutes a waiter came dressed in a suit and smiling kindly came over to take
our order. We spoke half in English and half in French. Mixed drinks at the
Hilton cost 5000 CFA ($10), but during happy hour you can get a second mixed
drink – the same as the first you ordered – for the same price. MB got a
mojito, JG got a gin fizz, AT got a piña colada, AM ordered a blue Hawaiian,
and I ordered a margarita. I’m not quite sure why, but it seemed like a good
choice at the time. However, when it arrived, it ended up being the drink out
of all of ours which had the most alcohol in it, which was not such a help to
my lightweight drinking habits.
The waiter also brought us two little bowls of peanuts and
one of mixed black and green olives. We were blown away by calm and swanky
atmosphere of the bar and it was almost surprising to look out the windows over
the city and to be reminded of the disorderly and filthy streets, the poverty
and need. We spoke about what it would be like to go home in a few days and
whether or not places like the Hilton would once again become commonplace.
Would we forget the experience we have lived through here? Would we eventually
take hot showers for granted again? Would we forget the days we spent without
access to running water? The daylong power cuts? Would it feel like a dream?
Would traffic lights still seem novel in three months? Would we continue to
feel like kissing the washing machine each time we put in a load? Will we be
opening our refrigerators for the next month, awed and overwhelmed each time at
a) their coldness and cleanliness, and b) the fact that there is always food
and we are allowed to take whatever we want whenever we want?
And as we speculated about the changes we would undergo upon
returning home, we also reminisced and discussed what we would miss. Taxi rides
would no longer cost between 20¢ and 60¢, no more pineapples for a dollar, we
would not be able to buy whiskey bottles filled with peanuts on the street, no
more plantain fries, and perhaps best - or worst - of all, we would disappear
into obscurity again, no longer conscious of our white skin or of every man’s eyes
– and woman’s for that matter – fixed on us.
We spent the day Saturday at the SIT office processing our
semester and preparing for our now imminent return. Many of us voiced concerns
and frustrations regarding the program, but we also discussed all that we have
learned. I mentioned valuing the chance to live as a minority (appearance-wise)
in a culture. It is a first for me and has certainly made an impact on how I
view my actions and those of others. I am curious to see whether this impact
will manifest itself as a change in behavior when I return.
As we wrapped up our discussions, la directrice handed us an excerpt from The Innocent Anthropologist by Nigel Barley. It was his musings on
returning from fieldwork in West Africa to the banalities of his quotidian life
in England. Many of his ideas struck home. I could completely relate to them
and I know that this applied to other students as well as I heard chuckles
around the room as my classmates each arrived at certain parts which seemed to
so eloquently describe what we were already planning ourselves to feel upon
returning home. He describes a “brooding sense of insecurity only heightened by
the vast numbers of rushing white people you meet everywhere.” At this point I
am unable to imagine what it would look like to see only – or at least a
majority of – white people on the streets. It’s not that I notice that everyone
is black when I walk down the street here, but when we see another white person
we are always excited – who are they? What are they doing here?
I liked Barley’s description of returning to supermarkets.
“The sight of the shelves of a supermarket groaning with superabundance of food
induces either nauseous revulsion or helpless dithering. I would either go
three times round the store and give up the attempt to decide, or buy vast
quantities of the most luxurious goods and whimper with the terror that they
would be snatched from me.” We are somewhat spoiled here in Bastos with the
imported foods grocery stores we have access to, but I still cannot imagine
what it will be like heading into Whole Foods. I will protectively hold my bag
in front of me and not let anyone see how much money I have; I will likely
faint when there are more than five different kinds of cheese to choose from. I
cannot wait to be able to put whatever amount of fruit or vegetables I want in
my basket and then weigh them at the cash register. Prepared foods are going to
seem like a gift from the gods.
I know the shocks will be endless these next few days after
I arrive, and Christiane shared with us that students tell her it takes a full
three months to reintegrate into the culture. When the cultures are such polar
opposites, is it possible to completely learn what you have learned? Barley
writes, “It is a common trait of returned fieldworkers, as they stumble around
their own culture with the clumsiness of returned astronauts, to be simply uncritically
grateful to be a Westerner, living in a culture that seems suddenly very
precious and vulnerable.” As I slowly eat a dinner made without palm, cotton,
or peanut oil, will I simply cherish what I am eating, or will I compare the
prices to those I encountered daily in Cameroon? Will I walk into stores amazed
when the shopkeepers neither urge me to buy everything I touch, nor propose marriage
to me, nor tell me I am beautiful, and will I forget to analyze why it is that they
do not need to resort to desperation to get me to buy something?
There are so many questions yet to be answered about what
the switch will be like, but I am grateful above all that I have family and
friends in both Massachusetts and in Minnesota who are ready to support me as I
begin this difficult transition. I am eager to return, to experience the
sanitary, regulated atmosphere of the airport (well, not the Yaoundé airport…),
to see the smiling faces of my family at the airport, to eat foods made without
oil, to be able to walk barefoot in my own house, to be able to expect toilet
seats on toilets, to pet dogs without fleas or mange, and to be able to finally
finally relax. These past three and a half months have been such an adventure,
but I know that I am ready to go home. I left Boston for Geneva with LA almost
exactly seven months ago, and between adventures in France, Poland, Austria, Monaco,
Switzerland, Italy, and Canada, have spent a total of twelve days in the US
since then.
I don’t know that I have ever missed the United States like
this, but a lot has happened in these past seven months, and I am looking
forward to discussing and sharing firsthand with my fellow citizens. GP and I walked
to the top of Mont Fébé this morning, encountering nearly three hundred
Cameroonians walking, jogging, sprinting, and cycling along the way. On our
descent, rather than heading up the long hill towards our houses, we went the
back way, past the American Embassy. As we walked past the massive building, curbing
the urge to shout to the security guards inside the gates that we, too, would
be standing on American soil within 48 hours. And yet as we passed the main
entrance, we both had a sharp intake of breath seeing the flag at half-mast. When
tragedies – or celebrations – occur in one’s home country, it is hard to not be
able to participate or share them with those around us. Traveling can be fun,
overwhelming, educational, fascinating, torturous, informational, invaluable, inspiring,
tumultuous, stressful, and life-altering; the adjectives can keep going forever.
When we travel we are constantly learning, working on changing pieces of
ourselves in order to feel more at home in our surroundings, but after an extended
period of time, the knowledge that there is a place out there where we can
blend in without trying and where we understand the nuances and intricacies of everyday
life is reassuring and a huge comfort.
I am beyond thrilled to go home right now – actually I have
been beyond thrilled for the past two weeks. I know that I will appreciate my
surroundings and my family and friends immeasurably, but I also know that after
a few months at home, operating day to day without needing to stretch myself and
progressively losing that shrewd analytical eye which feels so natural while
traveling, I will feel the pull to leave again, to experience something new. They
say that love for traveling is a bug you can catch. Considering how many bugs –
both with wings and without – I caught while in Cameroon, and considering that
I survived and will be benefiting from this experience for the rest of my life,
I am ready to continue to catching bugs and dealing with the consequences and
benefits.